REALLY Odd Jobs: Part ? of that Series I Tried to Start Last Year

Y'all... Some weeks are weird.
This has been a particularly weird week, and it isn't over yet. New York City is a crazy place full of crazy people who will ask you to do crazy things.

For example, this morning I find myself at another temp job. This particular company hired three temps to sit in empty offices and "look busy" while they have a conference. They are PAYING me to LOOK BUSY. When I explained this to my boyfriend last night on the phone (Hey check it out! Another cryptic mention of Lindsey's boyfriend!), he inspired me to really take this job to the next level. So far I have been taking critical and detailed notes from my Facebook news feed, answering urgent imaginary phone calls from our international office partners, and now I am writing my VERY important emails to high-profile clients who requested my input on such and such matter personally. I am a very important asset to this company who shall remain nameless. Corporate America. It's weird.

I shouldn't be too surprised, though. This week has been pretty weird from the start. The entertainment industry is just as weird, if not more so, than the business world. I began my week at 7am, standing outside a building in 34 degree weather, waiting to be put into another line where a man would look at me and tell me if he wanted to hear me sing or not. After three hours of waiting and hoping I would get to sing, I got "typed in" and started hoping and praying that he wanted me to be an Angry Tree or a Flying Monkey in his production of The Wizard of Oz. Dream big y'all. He did not. I did get to sing, but I did not get a callback, so I trotted off to the next audition with my pride only slightly deflated and my dreams of throwing apples at Dorothy from the inside of a heavy synthetic bark suit put on hold.

My second audition of the day was out in Jersey City. I don't really know anything about New Jersey except that my unlimited MetroCard doesn't work for the PATH train. I bought a new card, hopped on the train, and went out to a theater in Journal Square. The audition was for a company that strives to be immersive in innovative ways. In this particular production, the entire audience will be blind-folded and the production will utilize the other senses to question our perception of reality: is what we see what we really believe? It promises to be an interesting experience. So, in the audition for this type of production, one shouldn't be surprised at interesting casting methods. However, when the director told me she was going to close her eyes for my whole audition, I was a little taken-aback. I mean, it made sense. If I book it, nobody will see me anyway, but I've never had someone actually close their eyes for my audition. I've had plenty of casting directors look at their phone or be really engrossed in the salad in front of them, but never so blatantly not look at me. Considering the circumstance, it was actually quite fun.

I have another weird audition coming up tomorrow. There's a new children's tour going out with puppets designed by Jim Henson's creature shop, and in addition to singing a comedic song, the breakdown asks for a puppet lip-syncing audition. They will provide the puppet, but I have to provide the song, so all week I've been rehearsing in front of a mirror with my sock and an emery board. The cat thinks I'm insane. I would also like to take this moment to thank my mother for instilling in me an early love of puppets. If I book this job, it will be because of the hours of entertainment your various puppet creations gave me. Special shout outs to Mr. Sock, the sock puppet you actually left ON YOUR FOOT for me to talk to, and the weird little finger puppet googley eyes that lived in the junk drawer in the kitchen.

Another slightly weird aspect of my week was my first yoga class at a new studio in my neighborhood. The class was actually fantastic, and it was donation-based with a suggested donation of $5, which is awesome in this really expensive city. The weird thing about it, which my mom actually pointed out later, was that I was doing yoga... in Harlem... It was basically like a meeting of all of the skinny white people in the area, and there aren't a whole lot of us. I did learn, however, that I can no longer call myself the only blonde in the neighborhood... stupid little yoga girls. :(

I think the most normal part of my week will actually be my babysitting job at the church tomorrow morning, and for most people, that would be a far cry from normal. I love it though. Those kids keep me young. I mean really young. Like, I tend to act like a 4 year old when I'm with them. Don't judge.

Wait. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the most normal part of my week was the fundraising gala I volunteered for last night with my new comedy improv group, Cherub Improv. OK, yeah, maybe not. Hobnobbing with rich people who like to support a non-profit comedy team who does charitable outreach and free improv shows was pretty weird. REALLY awesome, but probably weird. Also, if you would like to learn more about Cherub Improv or support this really awesome group, check us out at www.cherubimprov.org.

Well, I guess that's pretty much been my whole week. I hope you enjoyed the weirdness of it all. Maybe next week will be a little more normal for me, but I almost hope not. It's been fun.

Grace be with you,
Lindsey Shea